Let’s get started.
The concept of dieting fucking sucks.
Let me tell you a tale as old as fucking time.
One day, Jim wakes up, flops over and scrolls on TikTok. “Judas ” by Lady Gaga plays with a 6”2 motherfucker with a tiny waist, 26 packs of abs and massive shoulders posing in front of a camera.
Jim goes, “Holy fuck, that’s one sexy ass dude – I want to look him” and him is David Fucking Laid leading the aesthetics era.
Photo taken by David Laid
Jim gets up – all motivated and determined, blasts some music and rocks up to the kitchen all fucking REVED UP TO THROW HIS SNACKS AND fix his whole fucking life in a span of a couple hours.
There goes the chips, bread, beer, fucking sugar – because JIM wants to now hop on a dumb fucking diet thinking that it is the quickest way to look like that fucker on TikTok.
Does Jim sound familiar? Yeah he fucking does. It’s you. It’s me. It’s Fucking everyone.
This is called restrictive dieting.
Jim continues to restrict himself for a week, he’s disciplined, he’s motivated and he hasn’t skipped gym in a week. Everything looking Fucking PEACHY.
Until One morning, Jim hits trips on a rock
- 🫗 Spills his coffee all over his expensive 200$ white shirt
- 🗣️ Goes in to hear his boss calling his performance review incompetent
- 👥 His friends making plans without him because Jim posted on his Instagram story he isn’t available to have fun because he needs to bUcKlE DoWn aNd WoRk HaRd.
This was the worst Fucking day he has had a in a while and boom, he gives up.
He Drives to McDonald’s – orders everything off their shitty, garbage menu (seriously? It sucks – Burger King is way better bitch).
Goes home, binge watches tv and binge eats as he throws away his entire week of progress in the trash. That’s that.
Jim reverts back to his old ways, his friends make fun of him “Oh I thought you were dieting hahaha” and he says “nah bro it’s not for me hahah – I just wanna have a good life” while he feels like his stomach has turned inside-out and wants to fucking cry.
Was this a little too fucking accurate? Have you ever felt that gut-wrenching pain of your work getting thrown out? We all have.
It’s because the concept of dieting is SUCKS.
Now you ask me –
So, what now bitch? If I can’t diet what the fuck do I do?
I say that going on a calorie deficit (or surplus) is not bad – it’s great but the dumbass mindset behind it has to improve.
Mindset towards Dieting
Let me give you an alternate scenario:
🏆 Jim succeeds.
He got what he wanted – he looks like a fucking photocopy of DAVID LAID. Now what?
Bring back the beer, chips, the other garbage and let loose?
No. Because if he does, he will loose his physique. He is stuck eating chicken, broccoli and rice for the rest of his life.
Is this maintainable long term? (It’s like Dora the Fucking explorer, I’ll answer this question myself)
This diet cannot be maintained.
A diet that cannot be maintained is the worst diet in the whole fucking world. (Louder for the fuckers in the back)
Conclusion
All this Fucking yapping has a conclusion.
Sustainability
When you start your diet, look at it as a big change to your life. You are not just changing your “diet”, you are committing to a permanent life style change. You have to ensure it’s sustainable
The New You
Your new body will be the product of your new habits, not your old habits– you can never revert back to old habits if you want to maintain your new body. (highlight this man, this is all I want you to take away from this)
The “diet” is no longer something you are trying to do for a short period of time. It’s not a diet anymore. It’s your lifestyle now.
Eating a salad is no longer because you’re on a diet. Eating a salad because that’s just who you are now.
Although I have never eaten a fucking salad it’s disgusting – try to make your favourite foods calorie-wise. I’ll talk more in Chapter 4
A wrap 🌯
That’s why the concept of “dieting “ sucks. If you’re looking to change, be aware of these three simple fucking principles
- ⏮️ You’re never going back. This is you now.
- ♻️ Your diet should be sustainable – have cheat meals or days where you can enjoy your favourite things.
- 👨🏽💻Every number on the scale is a new you, with new habits. It’s a slow process but that’s why it’s worth it.
That’s it bitches. See you next time, love you. Xoxo.❤️
Author’s Note: I bought a fucking Xbox today, I’ve been wanting one as a child and couldn’t afford it. Today, I bought it myself with my own job, so pretty great fucking moment for me.
